When Doubt Creeps In

I have much to be thankful for this week.  Many prayers have been answered, and I am overjoyed.

I have spent hours praying for the very thing that God has provided.  And during those prayers, my old friend Doubt has been present, whispering in my ear that God doesn't hear.  That He won't provide.  And so I have fought back the whisperer, trumping the lies with Truth--He cares for me, my prayers have power, He knows what I need and will provide it.

But even now, in the face of God's provision, the voice creeps close and ruins my thanksgiving, telling me the provision is not from His hand at all, but from my merit, from the merit of those I love, from anywhere else.  I am inclined to stop praising, to think I'm deserving, and I am robbed of joy.

So, again, I beat back Doubt and remember.  EVERY good and perfect gift is from above.  All of them.  There is none that I deserve, none that I accomplish, none that I can secure for myself.

No, no.  He gives good gifts to His children.  He has given me grace that I could never earn and that is irrevocable.

And so I sit at the feet of my Father, amazed that He would love me so.  Amazed that He would listen, that He would answer.  It is a constant fight, but in the face of this Truth, Doubt retreats and Joy returns.