Our Sunday School teacher often says that in the tragedies and struggles of our lives we will wrestle with believing two things: that God is God and that God is good. How right he is.
In the wake of Friday's tragedy, I am confronted with the juxtaposition of God's sovereignty and God's goodness. That He reigns over such chaos and darkness in love.
I do not understand it. I ask Him where He was. I protest that He turned His back and implore Him not to leave my children.
But of course He was there. He is with us always, even to the ends of the earth. No sparrow falls to the ground without His consent. Surely no child does either.
And then my unbelief moves swiftly to the next point. Then is He good? Is a God who would preside over such horror loving? Does He care about us at all?
If I cannot believe both that He is God and that He is good, all hope is lost.
So I look to the manger, which led to a cross, where He presided over the death of his own Son all because of love for us. I look to His choice to suffer and to die, and it is there that I must rest. He has gone before us. He has loved us unceasingly. Surely He is God and He is good.
Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief.
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