I've been meaning to link to this post for a week now. I keep reading and re-reading it and am challenged every time. Here's an excerpt, but I highly recommend the whole thing...
"The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty."
I enjoyed that post (it circled around quite a bit on FB, in case you didn't notice!), but I also had mixed feelings about it. Every mother can recall at least one moment when she has felt resentful, or shown herself as a hypocrite to her children. My fear is that reading that post caused women who as a general rule love and serve their children well, but may have fleshly moments, to feel more condemned as mothers than they should...simply because we all tend to focus more on what we do wrong than on what we do well. My hope is that mothers whose children do know how loved they are when they lay their heads on their pillows at night will not be doubting and forgetting how well they are loving their children! That is exactly what evil wants us to do! Sure, we all have things we can work on and grow into, but that will always be the case. You, my friend, love your children well.
ReplyDeleteHey sweet friend. Thanks for your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that the article could be read as condemning and I wouldn't want a mother to feel defeated by it either. I think sometimes Christian mommy writers feel like they are swimming upstream in a culture that doesn't value what they (we) value so they use harsher language than perhaps necessary when addressing other believing moms.
That said, I think her points are so helpful and read the post as a fabulous reminder that my actions show my children how much I value them. I'd never want them to doubt that for a minute. I will fail, but therein lies the need for all-sufficient Grace. I am a grateful recipient of just that Grace. God is glorified by my striving to love my children, just as He is glorified in forgiving my inadequacies in doing so.
I so enjoyed seeing your little guy briefly the other day. :)
I totally agree with everything you said! :) Your understanding of grace allows you to read the article and not feel condemned. I am growing into that, for sure. I loved how you phrased, "God is glorified by my striving to love my children, just as He is glorified in forgiving my inadequacies in doing so." So true...and good for me to hear. My thoughts mainly were coming from the viewpoint of a mom who focuses too much on what I don't do well, and also from a friend who listens to moms focus too much on what their failures, all the while forgetting to celebrate the things they have grown so well in. But I know you get that. All in all, I did enjoy her article, and found it encouraging in some ways. I loved the end....where she talked about the joy of being a mother to all of her children.
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