Parenting Their Differences

I think perhaps the most challenging part of my short parenting life has been the realization of just how different my girls are from each other--and how to parent them accordingly.  This shouldn't come as a shock.  My sister and I are polar opposites in most things (We like music and shopping and, when it doesn't conflict with the former two, college football. But that's about where the similarities end), but I find this very challenging.

My firstborn is (unfortunately for her) her mother made over.  I can almost always tell you what she's thinking or talking about when it's vague to the rest of the world.  She talks constantly, sometimes bulldozes over her sister's feelings, and loves nothing more than a party.  Above all, she is logical.  Don't get me wrong--she's three and isn't always logical, but most of the time she understands cause and effect and can be reasoned with (code word for "bribed").

My second child couldn't be any more different.  She is as smart as her sister, but not nearly as verbal.  She would rather just scream until you comply with her wishes than tell you why you are wrong.  She has no use for logic--she just wants what she wants.  She is also a snuggler and is not afraid to manipulate you by grinning a fat-faced grin, waving her cute little hand at you, and crawling in your lap.  And I am defenseless to this tactic because it has honestly never crossed my mind.  I'd rather argue you down than charm you down any day of the week. 

Which begs the question:  how to parent a child whose weaknesses are so different than my own.  I find myself more sympathetic to the weaknesses of my middle child because I don't understand them.  I am more inclined to fight the weaknesses of my eldest because, truth be told, I have to fight them for myself every day.  (And let's face it, I don't want her growing up with so little progress made as her mother.)

So this post doesn't really have a resolution--just a challenge to myself to be more aware.  To have more grace for my oldest and maybe even to be less of a sucker toward my baby girl.  After all, it's my job to teach her too--even if she DOES give me her irresistible, grinning "He-ey, Mommy!"