The Ballet Girls

The beginning of this schoolyear marked a significant development in the life of my eldest:  she is now old enough to take ballet at her little school.  I asked her to choose between ballet and her first love, gymnastics, and the choice was simple for her.  She was headed to the class where they wear leotards and tutus!

She is thrilled for Thursdays to roll around, because that is "Ballet Day!"  She can tell me exactly how many days until Ballet Day at any given moment.  And I love this.  I love it because I had no similar love for ballet--my grandmother graciously took me to ballet weekly for at least a year and I didn't love anything about it (except perhaps the wearing-makeup-for-the-recital part at the end of the year, but even that wasn't enough to keep me coming back for more).  I love it because I love how her excitement is contagious.  Even my younger daughter, who can't yet go to ballet, smiles at the revelation that it's Ballet Day because her sister is thrilled.

She has taken to calling herself "Ballet Girl."  For real.

A week ago, though, my little ballerina informed me of something that made me less than thrilled about ballet:  when I asked her who she played with at school that day, she said, "The Ballet Girls."  And she said it in a sassy voice, too.

Oh, dear.  I immediately knew what this response meant.  And so I asked.

"Did you play with any girls who aren't in ballet?"

"No ma'am," came the reply from the backseat.

Oh, how young we realize the power in being exclusive!  The days of middle school and cliques are not far off--indeed, they seem to have begun.  And the worst part--my sweet girl is part of the problem!  I was aghast and not even sure where to begin.  So, we talked about how she would feel if she weren't in ballet and only the "Ballet Girls" played together.  But she wasn't seeming to get it.

So, I told her that if she could not play with girls who were not in ballet, perhaps she didn't need to be in ballet either.

It's probably not the best technique, and I'm not sure this threat clearly conveys all of the reasons that playing with only select girls is hurtful.  But it's a start.  And hopefully my daughter knows me well enough to know that I mean it.  It would kill me to pull her out of something she loves so dearly, but her heart and her attitude toward other people is more important.  Always.

We have had several discussions since this conversation, and I regularly ask my daughter who she played with at school.  She sometimes proudly lists all of the non-ballet girls she has played with that day.


Sweet girl, may you learn the power of true friendship and the value of kindness to people who share your interests and people different from you.