In thinking about the times that my spirit is the least "quiet," I am struck recently with a resounding answer: when I struggle to submit to authorities in my life. When I find myself questioning the motives, decisions, and wisdom of the people that God has placed in positions of authority over me. My need to control, my skepticism and inability to fully trust...they all have deep roots in pride and in unbelief.
See, I tend to think I have a better idea, whether it's what we're going to eat for lunch or how a given situation should play out. This fault is amplified before me every day in the constant "suggestions" of my daughter. She always has a better idea, too, and she struggles to submit to my plans and trust that they are best for her. As I look into the mirror of her questioning face, I cannot help but see my own unwillingness to trust the plans of my parents as a child, of my husband, of my employer, of my church leaders...
I question these people at every turn; all too often I do so out loud and spread my skepticism, but other times I keep my questioning to myself and foolishly meditate on how superior my way would be if I were in charge.
I would never be so bold as to say that I don't trust God's plans (at least not out loud), for surely God's ways are superior to mine. But to extend that logic to the people that He places over me is a place I do not often venture. In reality, of course, to fail to trust these individuals is actually a failure to trust Him. By doing so, I say to God, "You control me, and have the best plans for me. But You do not control my husband, and therefore I am fearful He may make the wrong decisions for our family." What a small view of God this is! After all, even "the king’s heart is a stream of water in the hand of the LORD; he turns it wherever he will." I can trust my husband because I can trust my God, and my God governs the events of my life--even those precipitated by a decision made by someone else.
Further, to fail to submit in these instances is to miss a valuable gift from God directly to me. God commands me to submit to authorities. But He--the one who turns the heart of the king wherever He will--has specifically given me my husband, my pastors, my superiors at work. Even the ones who don't acknowledge Him. They're in my life because He has willed it so. "For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God." So, to refuse to submit to the authorities in my life is to miss the God-ordained opportunities for my growth and His glory.
My questioning and controlling inhibits my faith and disquiets my spirit perhaps more than any other struggle. So, as I aim to question less and to trust more, I am committed to quieting my daughter's spirit by teaching her that (1) she does not always know best, (2) God DOES always know best, (3) God has given her the very Mommy and Daddy she has and has placed us in authority over her for her benefit, and (4) even though Mommy and Daddy certainly mess up, she can submit to our authority because God is bigger even than our mistakes.
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