I work with and around a lot of confident people. For that matter, those who don't know me very well would probably describe me as "confident," too. After all, isn't it an essential function of the job for a litigator?
We instinctively hope that our children will be confident people. No one looks at her daughter and says, "I sure hope Susie will be a shrinking violet when she grows up. I hope she's too self-conscious to talk to people."
And I don't think this instinct is out of line. The Bible tells us to be strong and courageous--doesn't exactly spark a mental image of that shrinking violet, does it? Paul doesn't lack confidence when he says, "I can do all things." And of course, the verses on the sidebar tell us not to "fear anything that is frightening."
But the Bible also specifically warns against arrogance, telling us not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought.
So just where is the line? And how am I to teach my girls to be confident without being arrogant? And how does this teaching change depending on their individual personalities, if I have one daughter whose confidence could tend toward arrogance and one who is self-conscious?
Just questions for now...more thoughts later today. Meanwhile, I welcome your thoughts and comments about this topic.
Great topic. Quiet confidence is one of the things that attracted me to my husband...a calm assurance devoid of arrogance. I think on this a lot, having been a shrinking violet myself. I try to inspire my daughter to have the confidence of David: 1 Samuel 17:34-37--But David said to Saul, "Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." David was strong and mighty and acted boldly, but he always knew where his strength and might came from and was quick to attribute all glory to God.
ReplyDeleteAlso, as one who has alternated between both self-consciousness and confidence, I have seen that both contain a pretty equal dose of pride. Humility is a very difficult thing to teach or practice, but I think it is the key to quiet confidence.
Anita,
ReplyDeleteJason posted the link to your new blog on Facebook today. It is wonderful!! I just read all your posts. Your writing is great, by the way. But, I love your goal and ambition. My girl doesn't strike me as the type to naturally have a "gentle and quiet" spirit, so I have much to gain from your insight and research. I guess none of us have in our spirit a natural tendency towards anything Godly. If I've learned anything over the past few months of parenthood, it would be that! Thanks for doing this and I look forward to reading more.
Love you!
Allison
Thank you for the helpful comments, Dawn! A "calm assurance devoid of arrogance" is exactly what I'm looking for.
ReplyDeleteAnd Allison, thank you for your comment. When I think "gentle and quiet spirit," I absolutely always think of you. So please feel free to chime in anytime with any words of wisdom!